connie's space

                   The English major in me couldn’t resist posting these, as forwarded by a Maine relative of mine. My Chinese readers most likely will be rolling in question marks and bemoaning their inadequate language skills, but for us native speakers, hope this brings a chuckle to your day.  Ping An! (Peace!)

Paraprosdokians  (Winston Churchill loved them!) are figures of  speech in which the latter  part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, and frequently humorous.

1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. They begin the evening news with ‘Good Evening,’ then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. My desk is a work station.
11. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:____ ‘,  I put ‘DOCTOR.’
12. I didn’t say it was your fault.  I only said I was blaming you.
13. A clear conscience is the sign of a poor memory.
14. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
15. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
16. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
17. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
18. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
19. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
20. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
21. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
22. I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one

               Yesterday, the China Telecom workers came to install my telephone and Internet lines, allowing me to finally be able to post my first blog since returning to China.  There will definitely be more to come.  Enjoy! 

News of the 2012 Amity Summer Orientation

             Yangzhou (yahng-jo) is a newly developed city 2 hours from Nanjing.  For the past 9 years, Amity has held their 2 ½ week orientation for newcoming teachers to China on the campus of Yangzhou Educational College.    

            The quaint, dated guesthouse of the school boasts 4 floors with meeting rooms, a dining hall, double occupancy guestrooms, and a communal kitchen with washing machines and refrigerator.  Air-conditioning/heating units in each room keep visitors cool in the oppressive summer heat and cozy warm in the deep winter.  Internet hook-up also accommodates each room, although it took a few days of rewiring to get it working properly.

            For myself, this is the first time for me to lead workshops and oversee the Young Adult Volunteers (YAP), which is now in its 4th year with Amity.  As mentioned before, these folk are Germans (ages 19 to 21, mostly) who will be teaching English for 1 year at junior and senior high schools in Gansu and Jiangsu Province. (Yes, English is currently like a second language in German schools so they can speak it well.)  

            This program was established as a joint partnership between the Amity Foundation and the German Lutheran Church, which wanted to give young people a chance to serve in China.  Another interesting aim was to give an alternative to German young men for their mandatory military service to their country.  The stint in China was counted toward their compulsory 1-year military instruction.

            Because a majority of the YAP have not attended college, their pay is only a measly $250 a month. 

            For the 2-year Amity program, which requires a degree-holding individual to teach at the college level, the pay is much higher (a monthly 4,000 yuan, roughly $645, in Chinese money and an added $250 per month in US currency on top of that.) 

 About Our Participants

           The Staff and New Teachers

           This year, our Amity orientation staff consisted of Liu Ruhong, the Director of the Amity Educational Division, myself and Lena (experienced Amity teachers to help lead workshops and training) and Judith, a young German from Bavaria who had just finished her year as a YAP and was to be our resource/recreation leader. 

            Lena was in charge of the Amity Teachers; I was in charge of the YAPs.

            This year, we had a total of only 4 Amity teachers (3 from the U.S. and 1 from the U.K.) under Lena’s guidance and 15 Germans under my care, 10 of which were men.

The Young Adult Program, 15 Germans (and Connie)

           The Tutors

          Also in the group were 10 Chinese college and senior high school students who were assigned to tutor the teachers one-on-one in Chinese.  The Chinese tutors lived in the guesthouse with everyone, became very close to their foreign guests, toured them around the city on non-study hours and helped them adjust to life in China.  They also doubled as guinea pigs for the Amity teachers who taught them in a classroom setting every morning for 2 hours.  Lena took care of those arrangements, helping the 4 new college teachers with planning and observing them with feedback sessions in the evening of how they did.

           The Middle School Students

          As for my group of Germans, they had a more daunting task for their teaching practice. 

            Every morning, from 8 – 10 a.m., we had 56 junior high kids gathered in the 3^rd floor meeting room for daily lessons from our inexperienced young teachers.  My job was to lead the 15 in teaching skills, planning sessions and workshops on how to teach.  It was also my job to observe the classes my group taught, take notes and meet with them later to discuss difficulties and improvements.

            Our classes were in 50-minute intervals with 2 Germans co-teaching together during those 50 minutes.  This allowed them all to teach twice during the orientation time, which would at least get them started in knowing how to handle a large class of rambunctious kids.  Their own class sizes would be similar in their Chinese schools but they’d be teaching on their own, not with a companion.  Just getting their classroom feet wet was the aim of the program, plus giving them confidence enough to tackle the teaching field on their own.

Our guinea pigs, ready to begin class

Duties of the teachers included checking student workbooks. Stickers (courtesy of so many of you!) graced every page filled with notes.

I always encouraged our new teachers to interact with students during the break. “Any questions?”

Time for Recreation:  Connie and Her Swimming Fetish

            For me, the schedule was packed full from 6:30 a.m. to 10 p.m. taking care of my duties with the 15 but I did manage to get in my pool time from 10 – 1:30 p.m. every day. 

            The expansion of Yangzhou was amazing with huge shopping malls, convention centers, new university campuses, exhibition halls and apartment complexes popping up at the outskirts of the city.  Amid all these new developments was the Yangzhou Sports Center, which boasted an indoor gymnasium for gymnastics and basketball events as well as a huge natatorium. 

The brand new Yangzhou Natatorium, like an Olympic venue

Welcome!

      When I entered the pool area, it was like an Olympic venue with 4 pools available.

A swimmer’s paradise

              My first visit found the 50 meter pool had lane lines marked for fast swimmers.  That was my place.  After hitting the water, everyone found out that they had a speedy one in their midst. 

            One of the things I’ve learned over the years with swimming in China is to be polite.  The Chinese don’t know pool etiquette very well for experienced swimmers.  They stand in your way, crowd at the ends of the pool to chit-chat, often swim on the wrong side of the lane, sometimes jump on top of you because they aren’t paying attention (very frightening for me!) or push off in front of you just when you’re trying to pass them.

            Years ago, my strategy was to be aggressive and mow them over.  After all, that’s what we did in my college team practices.  It worked in clearing people out but didn’t gain me many friends in the Chinese pool.

            Now that my language skills are good enough, I usually talk to the lifeguards first to tell them the lanes need to be cleared out if designated for fast swimmers.  That’s me.  Then I talk to the lane swimmers, introducing myself and establishing a good relationship. 

            “I swim fast,” I tell them.  “Don’t worry if you’re slow.  I can swim around you.”

            After that, I’ve set up the rest of my days in a new pool environment until it’s time for me to leave.

              I did make quite a few swimming friends in Yangzhou.  The noontime swimmers were mostly men who wanted advice on doing flipturns and stroke work.  When my swimming time was over, I’d spend a little time giving free instruction to those interested.  Even the lifeguards stepped in next to my lane to get an expert opinion on how to swim better.

            My last day at the Yangzhou Natatorium was a little sad but there were some promises that I might be around next year if asked to participate in the orientation again.

 Starting Up the School Year in Luzhou

            We are starting the second week I’ve been back in Luzhou, meaning most of the first year  students have already arrived and settled into their college life far from home. 

Each department’s greeting table welcomed new students to the campus

Banners along the main walkway greeted everyone

All new students were required to have a health check and vaccinations. The lines were definitely not short!

Only during these opening days are businesses allowed to sell their wares on campus. Cell phones, MPs, i-pads, room Net connections . . . you name it, it was offered at bargain prices.

The most important place for anyone? Of course, our one and only campus ATM machine.

                My apartment was still just as empty of furnishings as it was when I left so the school and I have been working on that.  Roasting temps have been a bit of a downer, especially as the air-con unit is still missing, but that will be taken care of this week. 

             During the weekend, after a very fun shopping spree, we’ve  managed:  a dark rose couch, a huge wardrobe, dresser, movable kitchen rolling cabinet, a used washing machine (not yet connected) and refrigerator, a water dispenser and today’s grand prize, Internet hook-up!

            As for classes, at present, I have only met with my two classes of 2^nd year students, English Education majors.  I have 47 students in one class and 43 in another.  All are very eager and excited to have me as their second foreign language teacher (Last year, they had John with the Peace Corp.  He and Ashley, newlyweds, are staying in the apartment below mine and are also teaching at the college this year.)

            The 1^st year students are doing their military training, marching about the campus from early morning to late in the evening.  They have this for 10 days before finally starting up their studies here.  When they complete this mandatory course, I will then have added to my schedule all the 1^st year English Education majors.   More reports on them at a later date, naturally.

           I do believe that catches you up on the news from this end.  Until next time, here’s wishing you Ping An (peace) for your week.

The past 2 weeks have been a whirlwind of activities:   hustling on and off Chinese airplanes and buses, moving in and out of numerous hotel rooms, dragging luggage around, suffering in roasting heat, unpacking boxes and visiting with old friends and familiar places.   Then there was the long trip back to the States where I have just arrived and am now involved in caretaker relief duties for my dad.

Good-bye, Guangxi Province!

            It was a lovely send-off from my college, Longzhou.  The movers came in the morning on time and began loading up the truck with my things.

The moving truck, being filled.

Dean Liang-Ling and my waiban (foreign affairs director), Mr. Luo,  came to make sure things went smoothly.  My second year students appeared outside the building, waiting for their turn to say goodbye and take last-minute photos.  The sun shown hotly down on all of us, causing sweat to pour off of us for our final pictures. (The heat of southern China is something I definitely won’t be missing.)

Mr. Luo (left) and Mr. Pan (colleague) gave me a small school gift

Dean Liang Ling and me

Margaret, Little Flower’s sitter, likewise came to see me off.

My second year students — a final group farewell.

At 1 p.m., I was situated comfortably on the bus bound for Nanning, 3 hours away.  This was my last bus ride through the beautiful mountain ranges of the province and I made sure to fully enjoy it.

In Nanning, I stayed for 2 days. I was also able to say farewell to the hotel staff who know me quite well, the pool cleaners and swimmers, the elderly park orchestra members and their audience who often talk to me on my city visits and nearby shopkeepers.  Sunday, it was off on the plane to Chengdu and after an overnight there, Monday morning had me heading out on the bus back to my old placement, Luzhou.

Luzhou:  So Much the Same and Yet So Different

            It’s been 3 years since I last visited Luzhou.  I’d heard reports that I might not recognize certain parts of the city due to its rapid development.

“Can Luzhou have changed that much since I last taught here?” I wondered on the 3 ½ hour busride from Chengdu.

That question was quickly answered while pulling into the brand new spanking bus station, across from a huge outlet store complex, both of which were not in existence when I was last here.  The station has just opened 20 days before and was situated outside of the city limits.  The huge domed front led me into a gigantic waiting room and ticket counter center which boasted several restaurants and 2 large convenience stores.  I later learned 7 smaller bus stations, which I often used, had been closed and combined into this one large one.  The passenger traffic was no longer crowded into dingy, dirty waiting rooms and forced to use disgusting trough toilets like in the old stations.  Now we had a bright, polished public traveling place at its best.

Our new bus station, bright and airy.

As for the rest of the city, my 6 days there surrounded me with both the familiar and the new.

I visited my old swimming haunts, the outdoor public park pool and the indoor Number 6 Middle School.

My outdoor pool at the park is still in business.

I went furniture shopping in the old district of town with its narrow alleyways and tree-lined boulevards.  I enjoyed the same downtown views as I’d remembered and stopped in at the church although no one was around at the time.

Those places remained the same but new additions made the city shine with a brighter, more modern feel.

Vast farmland along the Yangzte was now replaced by huge highrise apartment complexes that seemed to go on forever.  New river front walkways with parks and squares for residents to enjoy stretched on and on.  A gorgeous new city hospital had been built, replacing the old, dilapidated one which had once been the best Luzhou had to offer.  And my school’s campus was graced with several new buildings and a lush, green landscape that had hardly taken shape when I left in 2009.

Looks like I’ll have a lot of exploring to do when I return in August.

The Apartment

            My apartment is exactly the same as my previous Luzhou school housing unit but on the 3^rd floor of the single teacher’s resident building.  It still overlooks the wide Yangzte River but from a higher vantage point.   I expected it to have the basic furnishings that are always provided for foreign teachers – TV, microwave, refrigerator, air-conditioner, telephone, ADSL Net hook-up along with necessary furniture.

Instead, I arrived to a completely empty apartment, newly painted with new toilet installed but everything filthy dirty.  I immediately hired 2 cleaning ladies to take care of the mess.  For $30, they scrubbed the windows, floors, toilet and balcony kithenette until it shone.  This was in preparation for the arrival of my things coming in from Longzhou the next day.

There certainly was an up side to having an empty flat.  First, the place was so tiny, there was no way my 100 boxes, bed and other small items would fit in there if other stuff had been added.

Just a few of my boxes, deposited into an entirely empty apartment.

Secondly, I would be allowed to accompany my foreign affairs director when we did go shopping for furniture.  The school would pay and I could choose what was within the price range plus what I wanted.  And the last was that, since the apartment wasn’t in  livable condition, the school graciously set me up in the best hotel in town.  I had a gorgeous room with a river view, free breakfasts every day and a fancy environment to live in for 6 days.  That truly felt like vacation!

My view along the Yangzte from the best hotel in town. What a vacation!

The Resident Permit

            As previously reported, the visa was causing some difficulty.  When I arrived in Luzhou, Teacher Yang accompanied me to the Police Bureau to start the resident permit process.  The resident permit is the in-house visa needed for me to work in China.  This is given by the local city government in which the foreigner plans to live.  Every city is different and Luzhou had some strict rules which was making things difficult for me.

We were denied twice until my school leaders became involved.  They called in all their favors from the local authorities, made some tight connections and finally managed to have my resident permit approved.  There had to be a rush placed on my permit because I had to leave so soon and I finally picked it up the day before flying to the States.   That was cutting it too close for me but it’s over and done with, good for one year until we go through it again next year.

Back in America:  Chauffer to and from the hospital

The trip to America had me somewhat worried all along the flight.  My mother had reported my father was in the ICU at our area hospital.  There were close calls with late-night phonecalls to her house from the nurses so when I landed here yesterday, I was eager to find out how my father was doing.

He has been in ICU for 6 days and most likely will be there for 5 more days.  He will be having re-hab at some point before he will be allowed to return home.  There are many things wrong and he won’t be very ambulatory so my mom will definitely need help at some stage during my stay.

I am just grateful that I can be the much-needed hospital chauffer and spend time with my family.  Always difficult to return home to a not-so-pleasant health situation but we just do the best we can.

Until next time, Ping An (Peace)!

I just want to remind readers that all my photo albums  and pictures since my start of this website are located at the below site.   

https://skydrive.live.com/?cid=82087792aa368e14&sc=photos#!/?cid=82087792AA368E14&sc=photos&group=0&sff=0

Ping An (Peace)!

            In between the packing, end of the school year and visa woes, I’ve been heading off every afternoon to my pool-in-the-middle-of-nowhere.  Banging along country roads, crammed on board with all the Guangxi farm and village folk heading back after a morning in town, is a refreshing get-out-of-town time for me.  Plus the silent, long march to the pool surrounded by banana trees, pineapple fields and rugged mountain ranges, is soothing for the soul.  Rural southern China is really beautiful and something I am definitely going to miss.

            Naturally, all these journeys to the pool have gotten me to know the bus drivers quite well.  As reported before, the buses run every half hour, sometimes every15 minutes, depending on who is at the wheel.  My habit is to bounce on board, give a big smile and “Ni hao! (hi)” to the driver and announce I’m off to the pool.  It’s just something to say and I always say it loud enough so the locals  on board hear.  They’re curious as to why the foreigner is climbing on a bus going so far into the countryside.  Might as well stop them from wondering and let them have something to share with others at the dinner table.

Waiting For The Bus:  Our Sour Driver

            Today, our Road 2 bus driver was late to arrive for the 1 p.m. pick-up route to the countryside. There was a crowd gathering at the stop and it was already going on 1:10 p.m.   Drivers are always on time but this was the sour driver.  I remember him from a few weeks ago.  He is never cheerful and is always rather snarly.  Makes sense that he, the unhappy one, would be the late one to pick us up.  

            It was very hot outside, even under the streetside mango trees.  We were all anxiously looking up the road, waiting for the bus, including all our ancient, wrinkled, stooped country grannies with their town shopping bags. Many were munching on steamed corn-on-the-cob or enjoying a baggie of chou dofu (stinky tufu) they’d gotten from the nearby sellers.  Everyone was very quietly waiting except for one loud, boisterous elderly woman.

 Buddha Granny

            I’ll call her Buddha Granny as she had this huge, round belly and her personality was just that of Buddha:  laughing constantly, chattering away and a very happy, jovial soul.   She was hunkered down in a big plastic lawn chair with arm rests and hanging out with her other large friend. The two women were going on  about who knows what.  It was all Guangxi dialect so I had not a clue what it was about but they were sure having a good time.

          I thought the chair belonged to the shop in front of us but when the bus pulled up, Buddha Granny was picking it up to bring with her. 

            My habit for these bus trips is to hang back and let the elderly and mothers with babies get on first to find a seat.  Everyone scrambles as they don’t want to stand but I really don’t mind, especially when I see such hard-working people in need of a rest.

            Well, Buddha Granny was having a great deal of trouble with that huge chair of hers so I told her to get on the bus and I’d carry it on for her.  It was a big, awkward thing.  Even I had to struggle with it to get it in the door. 

          I bumped and maneuvered the chair around the driver while she laughed and carried on about the foreigner giving her a hand, I assume. 

            The driver, all this time, was just scowling at us.  Everyone else on the bus was into the spirit of my kind efforts, smiling away because Buddha Granny’s happiness was so infectious.

           Eventually, I got the thing into the bus.  Buddha Granny grabbed a reserved seat in the front, for the elderly and handicapped, and I put the chair toward the middle of aisle. She wanted me to sit in it but I thought the nearby mother with her baby should have that honor.  All the seats were taken and our little momma was left standing until she gratefully plopped down into the empty chair.

            The driver wasn’t very pleased about that visiting seat, for some reason. Maybe he thought it was dangerous. I have no idea. He just kept peering at it in his rearview mirror, looking on with  obvious disapproval.

            He finally started up the bus for our departure and pulled away from the stop.  Buddha Granny continued to chatter happily away, even to the driver, until she finally won him over.  He began to join in on her comments and bantering which seemed to lighten his mood somewhat.  No smiles but you could tell he was feeling better and not quite so bad-tempered.

            15 minutes later, I arrived at the pool crossroads where I hopped off before Buddha Granny.  She was heading on to her small village, the very last stop, along with everyone else. 

            Before I left, we exchanged acknowledging nods and I gave her a friendly wave.  She just laughed whole-heartedly, as seemed to be her nature, and that was the last I saw of her.

            I hope someone helped her off the bus with her chair but even if no one did, I have not a doubt she didn’t care. Most likely, she was giggling the entire time while dragging that thing down the bus steps and through the streets while going home.

 What’s Really Important in Life?

          Don’t we all wish we could have that kind of sunny disposition throughout life, a fun-loving spirit so contagious that it makes everyone else happy too?

            Who’d have thought that a bus ride with a little old countryside woman would put all my packing worries and visa woes to rest. 

          At least for today, anyway, that seems to be the case.

          From Longzhou, China, here’s wishing you Ping An (Peace) for your day.